I have been addicted to stress for about 10 years now. At first I felt that I just liked drama, or had to always have something to do otherwise I would die somehow, but then it hit me–I feel like I can’t function without a certain level of stress. But why is that? Well reading this article called Stress Junkie over at oprah.com, I have learned that a lot of the reasons why we turn to stress can be for the simple fact that we don’t know how else to function or we are trying to hide from other tasks. In the meantime we continue to build our lives around doing more, and more and more until we are tightly wound and must continue on in this path of destruction. I find myself almost feeling like I’m going to die because of all the stress in my life and expectations that I put on myself to be better and better.
So what can we do to stop this horrible addiction? The advice that Martha Beck gives is to let yourself go, accept your stress and don’t allow it take you over. Also running, or exerting your energy in something else besides the stress will you help you to “balance out”. By being patient with ourselves we are able to tell that stress to calm down, and in turn WE calm down and things will start to balance out.
What you should know by now: Life is short, breathe deep.
One of the main reasons why I started this blog was to achieve a goal. Well a few of them actually. First and foremost, it is to meet Oprah. And while that is a big goal I know it’s not unattainable. The second goal is to be a better writer. The third goal is to actually stick with something as I always felt like I could never stick with anything, like I was always going to have a laundry list of goals and wishes that I would never get around to and be like Dorothy off of Golden Girls when she found out that she made a list and did NOTHING on it. I knew that something as “simple” as writing a blog shouldn’t take much time out of the day as I always have something valuable to say that people would want to read right? WRONG. It’s a hard task because you are literally shifting a part of you to be something contrary to what you currently are. Zen Habits wrote an article on how to effectively ingrain a behavior and cuts the myth that it takes 21 days to change a habit, but rather 66 days.
Robin Smith talks about the power to change by starting with little steps and making sure that it starts with you not justifying why you should continue with the behavior you are trying to change, but being accountable and actually taking small steps towards the goal. A friend and I are actually practicing that now as we try to tackle the big goals that we have been trying to tackle for many years. Her goal is to take her vitamins, and mine is write a blog post everyday. While small, it’s steps to a bigger future goal that we both want to be able to get to. It also helps when you are held accountable not only by yourself but also by other people. There’s nothing worse than calling your friend and saying you failed at your goal. It’s not life or death, but then again it just may be.
What you should know by now: It starts with the mind.
So Oprah has been having a lot of reruns on lately, which is a little expected, but still doesn’t stop me from learning something whether from the show or from the website. I searched deep within, and tried to figure out what most tugs at my heart, and that was my fascination of the simplicity yet often talked about road to success. I suppose it’s all in what you define success to be, and for me it’s just being at a place that I don’t really have to worry about half of the things that I worry about now. Or being financially capable take care of everything and everyone around me. But is that REALLY success? Now Webster (of course we always turn to HIM) defines it as: 1obsolete:outcome, result 2 a: degree or measure of succeeding b: favorable or desired outcome; also: the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence
In a way, we can see success as something comes as a result of something. A result of obtaining the highest level of passion? A result of hard work? A result of a perceived level of self achievement? It’s gets really shady, but I feel that in order to totally understand it, you must be able to define it or see what it looks like. One person that stands out to me that really stays grounded as well as embodies success is Russell Simmons.
Russell Simmons stands out to me because he is so versatile in both his interests and what he set forth to do in life to become such a success. He was able to see what was missing, and filled the void within society and continues to do that. I know what keeps me going is knowing that I’m able to be such a visionary, although I’m not always quick to take to action, I constantly wondered if I was doing enough. When you have so many ideas and things that you want start, it can get very overwhelming in knowing where to start, how you are going to start, and the team that you will have to back you. The main thing that I have learned over the years that Russell Simmons touches in his book Do You! is what a lot of Buddhist principles taught me that he also quotes in the article and that is a series of sayings “Money doesn’t bring happiness” and “There are no failures, only quitters.” “When you become more faithful, you become more present, you become happier, and therefore, greater contributors,” The main lesson here is to be present and follow your dreams, not the money, not anything material because it really does put things into perspective when you feel burnt out and depleted of passion. Above all else, stay true to YOU, and the secrets of success, will more apparent than ever before.
What you should know by now: Don’t worry, be happy.
This is what is constantly said amongst people regarding any attempts towards social change. We tend to think that the problem is too big, or that we don’t have the right resources and enough money to make a change in our lifetime. Or it’s that we are ignorant to what actually COULD be done or most simply–we just don’t care. The reality, however, is that we do have a power to make changes and it’s not like we haven’t seen examples. Starting from slavery all the way to a non-Caucasian president, we do have some sort of power to create great change and it starts with the thought and a willingness to change.
While they weren’t the topic of the show (and I believe they meant to but Angelina Jolie’s name and not Demi Moore because I didn’t see her at all…), the true topic was about the damages that have been done to countless women across the globe. As I write this I am looking at the problems that range from deep damages endured from the effects of being a sex slave, to victims of rape ambushes from gang wars, to the effects of extreme hunger. Even as I sit here with the tears, I feel like I still can’t do anything, but that’s about to change. In order to change what we see, we MUST start in the mind first. We can do this. We first must take a small action, even if it’s smiling, and from there it grows.
So stop reading and watch the video below, and when you are done. Act.
It’s something about the day AFTER Thanksgiving (or a couple weeks before it) when the music starts playing and reminds you of all the memories that we hold dear – or even try to forget. But Christmas seems to bring a smile even in the Scroogiest of people which just happens to be me. I know sad right? But when I hear Silent Night or even O Holy Night, or Christmas Time is hear by Alvin and the Chipmunks, it just brings a smile on my face. Even the smell of pine seems to bring a smile on my face and hope in the heart.
Today Oprah’s guests were Tim McGraw, Alicia Keys, Jennifer Hudson, Andrea Bocelli, Mary J. Blige and Sugarland singing together as they’ve never before. It was beautiful to see, and I would have to say my favorite was also Oprah’s favorite (coincidence I swear) with Mary J. Blige and Andrea Bocelli singing What Child is This. Watching this today was on point as I was having a bad day and lost focus on what the season is all about. While there are many things that I wish to have, or people I wish to be around or have met already, I am glad to be alive yet another joyous holiday season.
What you should know for sure: Live in happiness and happiness will live in you.
Listen to the Track below with Mary J. Blige and Andrea Bocelli
Today the topic on the Oprah show was about heroes and shows like this always makes me cry like a baby until I can’t see the TV anymore. It seems to breed humility, courage, and a sense of purpose in those who don’t necessarily take the time out to really look at those around them to recognize the spirit that does exist in humanity. It allowed me to really take a pause and see the beauty in not only the things and places and landscapes around me but in also the people.
I always hear often people talk about the hopelessness that they feel and the downfall of society, and I am guilty of this – but it’s realizations and shows like this that highlight courage and compassion that spark up the childlike hope within me to continue (or start) to make a difference in this world, or even in my life that seems like a very small circle, but rather touches more people than I care to even admit or show. We all do. Let’s start acting like it.
