Journey to Oprah

I have been addicted to stress for about 10 years now. At first I felt that I just liked drama, or had to always have something to do otherwise I would die somehow, but then it hit me–I feel like I can’t function without a certain level of stress. But why is that? Well reading this article called Stress Junkie over at oprah.com, I have learned that a lot of the reasons why we turn to stress can be for the simple fact that we don’t know how else to function or we are trying to hide from other tasks. In the meantime we continue to build our lives around doing more, and more and more until we are tightly wound and must continue on in this path of destruction. I find myself almost feeling like I’m going to die because of all the stress in my life and expectations that I put on myself to be better and better.

So what can we do to stop this horrible addiction? The advice that Martha Beck gives is to let yourself go, accept your stress and don’t allow it take you over. Also running, or exerting your energy in something else besides the stress will you help you to “balance out”. By being patient with ourselves we are able to tell that stress to calm down, and in turn WE calm down and things will start to balance out.

What you should know by now: Life is short, breathe deep.

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I woke up pretty early to catch Good Morning America as Gayle King was on there discussing her and Oprah’s favorite things for Christmas. It was a good list and timely for people as it there were things you could get for under $30. A lot of nice items ranging from reversible jackets to premix cookie jars, but the one that stood out for me was the O Annual. Apparently Oprah had been doing this for years, and of course now that I’m EXTRA attentive, I notice these things a little bit more than when I was in dreamland except with no dreams. So I scurried over to Google and typed in where to find this magical book and it came up.

What was funny was that yesterday I had wrote so much about goals and dreaming big that I counted this as a sign. The more I read about the focus of the magazine the more things continued to fall into line. It was actually pretty surreal, but this year has definitely been a precursor of things to come. So buy the book and follow along with me! (You’d think they pay me to advertise! They don’t…)

What you should know by now: Some things that you desire will align to you without much effort.

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One of the main reasons why I started this blog was to achieve a goal. Well a few of them actually. First and foremost, it is to meet Oprah. And while that is a big goal I know it’s not unattainable. The second goal is to be a better writer. The third goal is to actually stick with something as I always felt like I could never stick with anything, like I was always going to have a laundry list of goals and wishes that I would never get around to and be like Dorothy off of Golden Girls when she found out that she made a list and did NOTHING on it. I knew that something as “simple” as writing a blog shouldn’t take much time out of the day as I always have something valuable to say that people would want to read right? WRONG. It’s a hard task because you are literally shifting a part of you to be something contrary to what you currently are. Zen Habits wrote an article on how to effectively ingrain a behavior and cuts the myth that it takes 21 days to change a habit, but rather 66 days.

But it’s even deeper than that.

It starts with the mind first.

Oprah Article – Make your dreams come true

Robin Smith talks about the power to change by starting with little steps and making sure that it starts with you not justifying why you should continue with the behavior you are trying to change, but being accountable and actually taking small steps towards the goal. A friend and I are actually practicing that now as we try to tackle the big goals that we have been trying to tackle for many years. Her goal is to take her vitamins, and mine is write a blog post everyday. While small, it’s steps to a bigger future goal that we both want to be able to get to. It also helps when you are held accountable not only by yourself but also by other people. There’s nothing worse than calling your friend and saying you failed at your goal. It’s not life or death, but then again it just may be.

What you should know by now: It starts with the mind.

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So Oprah has been having a lot of reruns on lately, which is a little expected, but still doesn’t stop me from learning something whether from the show or from the website. I searched deep within, and tried to figure out what most tugs at my heart, and that was my fascination of the simplicity yet often talked about road to success. I suppose it’s all in what you define success to be, and for me it’s just being at a place that I don’t really have to worry about half of the things that I worry about now. Or being financially capable take care of everything and everyone around me. But is that REALLY success? Now Webster (of course we always turn to HIM) defines it as: 1 obsolete : outcome, result
2 a : degree or measure of succeeding b : favorable or desired outcome; also : the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence

In a way, we can see success as something comes as a result of something. A result of obtaining the highest level of passion? A result of hard work? A result of a perceived level of self achievement? It’s gets really shady, but I feel that in order to totally understand it, you must be able to define it or see what it looks like. One person that stands out to me that really stays grounded as well as embodies success is Russell Simmons.

Article of the Day: Hip Hop Mogul Russell Simmons talks to Gayle King

Russell Simmons stands out to me because he is so versatile in both his interests and what he set forth to do in life to become such a success. He was able to see what was missing, and filled the void within society and continues to do that. I know what keeps me going is knowing that I’m able to be such a visionary, although I’m not always quick to take to action, I constantly wondered if I was doing enough. When you have so many ideas and things that you want start, it can get very overwhelming in knowing where to start, how you are going to start, and the team that you will have to back you. The main thing that I have learned over the years that Russell Simmons touches in his book Do You! is what a lot of Buddhist principles taught me that he also quotes in the article and that is a series of sayings “Money doesn’t bring happiness” and “There are no failures, only quitters.” “When you become more faithful, you become more present, you become happier, and therefore, greater contributors,” The main lesson here is to be present and follow your dreams, not the money, not anything material because it really does put things into perspective when you feel burnt out and depleted of passion. Above all else, stay true to YOU, and the secrets of success, will more apparent than ever before.

What you should know by now: Don’t worry, be happy.

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This is what is constantly said amongst people regarding any attempts towards social change. We tend to think that the problem is too big, or that we don’t have the right resources and enough money to make a change in our lifetime. Or it’s that we are ignorant to what actually COULD be done or most simply–we just don’t care. The reality, however, is that we do have a power to make changes and it’s not like we haven’t seen examples. Starting from slavery all the way to a non-Caucasian president, we do have some sort of power to create great change and it starts with the thought and a willingness to change.

Oprah’s Show Topic: George Clooney, Ben Affleck, Demi Moore, and Hilary Clinton

While they weren’t the topic of the show (and I believe they meant to but Angelina Jolie’s name and not Demi Moore because I didn’t see her at all…), the true topic was about the damages that have been done to countless women across the globe. As I write this I am looking at the problems that range from deep damages endured from the effects of being a sex slave, to victims of rape ambushes from gang wars, to the effects of extreme hunger. Even as I sit here with the tears, I feel like I still can’t do anything, but that’s about to change. In order to change what we see, we MUST start in the mind first. We can do this. We first must take a small action, even if it’s smiling, and from there it grows.

So stop reading and watch the video below, and when you are done. Act.

Girl Effect from laura daril on Vimeo

What you should know for sure: You are the light of this world, no matter how bright or dim you may think you appear.

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It’s something about the day AFTER Thanksgiving (or a couple weeks before it) when the music starts playing and reminds you of all the memories that we hold dear – or even try to forget. But Christmas seems to bring a smile even in the Scroogiest of people which just happens to be me. I know sad right? But when I hear Silent Night or even O Holy Night, or Christmas Time is hear by Alvin and the Chipmunks, it just brings a smile on my face. Even the smell of pine seems to bring a smile on my face and hope in the heart.

Oprah’s Show Topic: Oprah’s Holiday Music Extravaganza

Today Oprah’s guests were Tim McGraw, Alicia Keys, Jennifer Hudson, Andrea Bocelli, Mary J. Blige and Sugarland singing together as they’ve never before. It was beautiful to see, and I would have to say my favorite was also Oprah’s favorite (coincidence I swear) with Mary J. Blige and Andrea Bocelli singing What Child is This. Watching this today was on point as I was having a bad day and lost focus on what the season is all about. While there are many things that I wish to have, or people I wish to be around or have met already, I am glad to be alive yet another joyous holiday season.

What you should know for sure: Live in happiness and happiness will live in you.

Listen to the Track below with Mary J. Blige and Andrea Bocelli

[audio:http://oprah.chanellehenry.com/audio/What_Child_is_This.mp3]

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ooOOOooo cooking. One of my favorite things to do, and possible the activity I do the least of. Whenever I do decide to grace the kitchen with my presence, I make masterpieces that people talk about for days. The way I laid the meal out perfectly on the plate, or seasoned it with both natural and figurative spices from both my soul and the cabinet. So why is it that I choose to not do one of the things that I love the most of? Because of attention overload.

Oprah’s show topic: Oprah’s All-Time Favorite Recipes

Today’s show was a repeat, but I always love when Oprah shows her favorite anything because it allows me to peer in to the life of someone that’s always hard to imagine. It’s the small things that we choose to pass over, or even ignore to make way for other unimportant things, or things that we feel are urgent but don’t give us any joy. I realized how “busy” I was the past few years in my life, and I realized that although I haven’t gotten slightly closer to my goal, I wasn’t really happy. The show today taught me to take time out for the little things, and especially to enjoy the things that give me joy even if they aren’t visibly progressing me to where I THINK I should be.  I think I’m going to cook more, and the Mar-a-Lago Turkey Burger will be the first thing I make.

What you should know for sure: Joy comes in the least unexpected things.

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I never got the chance to post yesterday with all the hooplah that the Thanksgiving holiday weekend brings. Holidays always get my mind going about the complexities and hidden gems that the power of family has. We all have something deep inside our families that we are either ashamed of, angry about, or proud about. As much of a scrooge that I sadly claim to be at times, deep down inside I continue to long for the connection between my family and friends that I consider family. Call it wishful thinking, or unrealistic expectations, but I call it hope. Hope in knowing that even though things don’t look as good as we want them, or even if we feel like the ugly duckling of the family, that the greater purpose is pushing down these insecurities and building the legacy that we all have inside of us.

Oprah Show Topic: Remembering Ted Kennedy

I felt a lot of pride and felt inspired to just be able to “peek” into his life. After all, we all were so attached to the Kennedy’s for so many years, it’s almost as if we know them personally. His wife talked about “he was always looking forward, never looking back”, which is so powerful and disciplined to do. Even with his grave diagnosis with brain cancer, he was able to push past that and almost see this perceived reality of dying as a possibility. We have a lot of power in seeing life inside of us and in others. When you have that will to push past anything that doesn’t make sense, or seem right, or tough, you are able to become something so powerful, an unstoppable force. Having seen so many tragic deaths in his family alone he was determined and had hope, and nothing stopped him. I’m happy to have a “glimpse” of his life.

What you should know for sure: Hope lives, start somewhere.

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And this is not about the show.. LOL!

Today the topic on the Oprah show was about heroes and shows like this always makes me cry like a baby until I can’t see the TV anymore. It seems to breed humility, courage, and a sense of purpose in those who don’t necessarily take the time out to really look at those around them to recognize the spirit that does exist in humanity. It allowed me to really take a pause and see the beauty in not only the things and places and landscapes around me but in also the people.

I always hear often people talk about the hopelessness that they feel and the downfall of society, and I am guilty of this – but it’s realizations and shows like this that highlight courage and compassion that spark up the childlike hope within me to continue (or start) to make a difference in this world, or even in my life that seems like a very small circle, but rather touches more people than I care to even admit or show. We all do. Let’s start acting like it.

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So if you head over to the “Why I’m Doing This” page, you’ll see that I have started a blog as a personal journey to feel a little bit more “connected” and possibly meet Oprah which has always been a dream and goal of mine that I’ve always put off.  A few people that I have talked to already about this idea of “blogging my way to Oprah” have given me a strange look, or just that look of “aww, how cute, well you go right ahead”, and I felt discouraged, but I have never felt so strongly so I continued in this idea that also was peaked after watching the movie Julie and Julia that I saw last week. It was about a woman that decided to cook her way through Mastering the Art of French Cooking a book that Julia Child wrote for Americans to learn how to cook French foods. She learned a lot in that year, and although she never got to meet Julia Child, she felt a strong connection to Julia, other people who shared her interests, and most importantly, herself.

My goal is to comb through the oprah.com site as well as watch every show until the last show, and pull things that give me an “aha moment” and other provoking thoughts that would help me grow as a person.

I’m still unsure as to how I will structure these posts, so I’ll start with what I’ve read or seen (on the show, or the website) today and then what I’ve learned or gained from it.

INSIDE SEX ADDICTION REHAB:

Today on the show Oprah talked to people who were battling with sex addiction, and although I thought I would skim through the show (as I recorded it so I have that luxury on the DVR), I actually paid attention to a lot of what they were saying and could relate heavily to the content that was being discussed on the show.

While I never felt like I battled with sex or anything of that nature, I did battle with the thoughts and the feelings of wanting intimacy so badly but not necessarily knowing how to get it or feeling like it defined me as a person. One thing that Oprah said on there was with so many different devices and methods of communication there are so many ways to talk but no intimacy. I felt that to be so true that it awakened me for the day.

I always had this theory that the more ways we have to talk the more ways we will lose touch with the people around us and never really feel connected like we had hoped. I have always wondered where the connection lies between feeling connected and being connected especially in this day in age. I’ve also pondered the many forms of addiction whether drug, sex, alcohol, or approval… Addiction comes in many different forms and the doctor on her show said that if you can change it, then it’s not addiction. While I understand his point, I don’t necessarily agree because those that were alcoholics don’t necessarily QUIT drinking, but they do CHANGE their patterns and will always struggle with the disease. Because at the end of the day it was still an addiction.

Personally for me I know that a lot of addictions that I do battle with is to cope with a lack of intimacy and for this reason alone I have become intrigued with the foundation of addictions and what all these people have in common and how to form a greater connection, that of strength and not of using the addiction to define the core a person.

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